Books

Grand Theft Octo (2017)

When Jonathan Doe is fired for stealing too much stationery, he becomes an entrepreneur of businesses the world has never seen. After a disastrous start at freelance taxidermy, he moves onto professional octopus teasing. Will he fail again or make his fortune? Is he really a professional or just a con artist? Desperate to succeed, his plans become more outlandish, from stealing theme park mascots at gunpoint to fighting deranged restaurant tycoons. As the enemies he makes seek revenge, both his life and business are threatened, until his world spirals into mayhem and violence. Set in the fictional city of Vestibue, England, Grand Theft Octo is a wild and hilarious ride that strikes at the heart of aspirational culture.

Mervyn vs. Dennis (2016)

Deep in debt, Mervyn Kirby gets a job he doesn’t want by pretending to be racist. His new boss Dennis Lane thinks he’s found a kindred spirit. When Mervyn confesses he’s not really racist, Dennis thinks it’s just part of the act. Day by day, to Mervyn’s horror, Dennis worms his way into Mervyn’s private life. Despite his fears, Mervyn is torn: his new job pays well but he despises Dennis and everything he stands for. How far will Mervyn go to free himself? How far will Dennis go to become friends? Will they settle their differences or end up killing each other? And why are so many shifty people carrying pineapples around town?

Click here to read the first chapter online for free.

The Papyrus Empire (2013)

When Tommy Duchesne withdraws fifty ¥€$ from a cash point, he thinks he’s been ripped off. It’s actually the currency of the Papyrus Empire, a global secret society founded in the forties by Sigmund Papyrus, a Swiss entrepreneur with a splendid moustache. On a dare, Tommy tries spending the ¥€$ around town, and realises he wasn’t ripped off at all. When he uses it in shops, he gets special service. When he uses it in nightclubs, he gets VIP passes. When uses it on fruit machines, he wins every spin. At first he has the time of his life but a sinister side soon emerges. Once covert, a recent change of leadership has thrown the Empire into turmoil, and its strangeness starts to bleed into regular society: chess is outlawed, ice embargoed and secret prisons discovered around town. When Tommy’s own safety is threatened, he believes the Empire is to blame, and joins their ranks himself to discover the truth. His obsession takes him deep inside the Empire, through six decades of dark history, and into the heart of a brutal civil war. Allied with his enemies, the weight of that truth, and the price he pays to unearth it, will make him question everything he’s ever known.